Here comes the pope!

The world held its breath, some of them at least
As there came a puff of contrived white smoke
With sulphurous undertones of reluctant Naziism
An experimental rodent-based BK burger
Had been transfigured, hallelujah!
From an elderly man with a bizarre collection of hats
And an extroverted penchant for dress-wearing
Into an elderly man with the global monopoly on bizarre hats
And an extroverted penchant for dress-wearing

He reigned for a spell in his ivory palace
Then turned his eye to the third world
With a visit to Glasgow
Followed by a stroll down to a park down south
With a few less syringes
And people who were marginally easier to understand

With interest polemic, oh how will we cope (financially)?
Like a paranoid golfer, here comes the pope!
Kerb-crawling in his bulletproof fish-tank
“Lock up your children!” They cry
But worry not, for unlike his hands-on underlings
With their unfortunate metaphorical bukkake session
“A stain on the church”
He’s out of touch
Living totemic relic of an institution in decline
Its medieval heyday long past
Who needs distraction from superstitions
When science has the answers
Without it being such an easy power trip
Over the easily led, the ingrained indoctrinated
Or those that need so badly to believe
As in today’s insulated society
Where witch-hunts are the preserve of the media
Transient celebrity is a more pressing concern than the eternal afterlife
And the constant straining to catch the witless vapourings of idols
Is more important than the polemic rhetoric
Of the Duke of Edinburgh’s religious counterpart
The environment’s en vogue now in any case
But, quite frankly, in this day of Playstations
Most can’t be arsed
Fair enough when all’s said and done:
The nature of apathy tending to preclude belief
Although if a reason were needed, letters tell of contraceptives made contraband
Short-sighted aides and proliferation of aids
The denial of abortion to even the most vulnerable women
Undermined human rights, the promotion of segregated education
Opposition to equal rights for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people
(But not, ironically, transvestites)
The great strength, backbone, and rallying point of religion:
Its inviolate moral code
Unfortunately sullied of late by a molestation squad rotation system
Wolves in sheep’s clothing: own goal there old boy